


Cwtch

by KathrynELSamson



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-03-11
Packaged: 2018-05-25 17:57:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6205087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KathrynELSamson/pseuds/KathrynELSamson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cwtch rhymes with much and touch.<br/>Please review! Thanks!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cwtch

The first time Deels offered me a cwtch I thought it must be some kind of Welsh cocktail, a splash of whisky in hot cocoa, or something. I looked blankly at her and she pulled me into a loving embrace. It wasn’t quite a hug, but she had her arms around me.

It had been a ghastly day with a particularly awkward patient who seemed to take pleasure in humiliating the young nurses. He’d been rather cruel to me but I brushed it off. When I overheard his reedy voice speaking condescendingly to one of the girls I stepped in to defend her but it was just at the wrong moment - Matron was passing by and remonstrated me in front of him which pleased him greatly. I was rather embarrassed and my blood ran cold and my stomach churned to think of my shift in Male Surgical the following day. I told Delia this and my face grew hot. I could feel my eyes pricking and desperately wanted not to cry. She seemed to sense this as she said “Do you want a cwtch?”

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a hug from anyone. I suppose I was quite stand-offish with the other girls, I wouldn’t call myself shy; reserved, perhaps. I didn’t like drawing attention to myself. I was confident though, and I did care about people. Delia and I were not the hugging type. Some of the nurses hugged each other every time they saw one another. Giggling and handing out cocktails like they were at a swanky reception. It all felt rather false to me.

Yet, wrapped in the embrace of this young Welsh girl the world felt peaceful and calm. It was as though time stood still and the worries for tomorrow were kept at bay by the safety of her arms.

“Cwtch” I said aloud, she squeezed me briefly before releasing me. Sitting upright I asked her if it meant a hug. “Sort of” she replied.

It had been 4 days since Delia and I last saw each other. We were both on the periphery of a core group of friends within the Nurses House, we all had different shifts so it was nice to have so many acquaintances to spend time with of an evening.  
In recent weeks I had found myself becoming less and less interested in the group and more concerned with Delia’s shift pattern and when I could see her. I had found myself sat with her most evenings in either hers or my own room swapping tales of the beastly matrons or cheeky patients. Last time was the first time I’d cried in front of her. It crossed my mind that this was a new development in our friendship but I pushed it from my mind as I climbed the stairs and knocked on her door.

“Come in” she called, so I pushed the door open. She was sat at her desk writing a letter.  
“Oh, sorry Deels, are you busy?” I said as she turned to see who was at her door. Her face broke into a huge grin and I relaxed immediately.  
“No, don’t be silly, I’m just replying to my mam’s letter.” I walked around to sit on her bed, legs crossed at the knee, smoothing my dress out a little as I did; a force of habit I’m afraid!

“It’s actually quite funny Pats” she said as she swivelled in her chair to face me, her mum’s letter in her hand. Leaning one arm on the back of the chair she read “Cariad, I’m writing to inquire…”, -“Cariad” I interjected.  
“It means darling, or love. Anyway basically she wants to know which train I’ll be on next time I go home”  
“When are you going?” I asked, surprised because we weren’t due any time off until after exams, or so I thought.  
“I’m not!” Delia exclaimed, amused, “I haven’t mentioned coming home but it seems she’s expecting me home for my birthday.”  
“Your birthday? When is it?” I asked. I felt myself getting excited at the idea of doing something nice for her birthday.

“Actually, it was the day before yesterday, but I didn’t want to make a big thing of it.”  
“Deels!” I chided, “you should have said something. I would have bought you a gift!”  
“Don’t be daft, I don’t want gifts. To be quite honest Patsy, spending time with you is enough of a gift” she said, faltering a little at the end, she glanced into her lap. I was a little stunned but my heart swelled. “Anyway” she continued, glancing up at me, “how was your day?”  
She was deflecting, I think. Embarrassed at giving herself away a little. I smiled warmly at her “Much better now actually…” I tried to lace my words with the depth of my feelings, “I really enjoy spending time with you too.” I looked at her, leaning forward slightly to catch her eyes.

Delia smiled, shaking off her embarrassment she said “Well, maybe I could have a cwtch as my present?” She almost bounced over to the bed. I opened my arms expecting her to sit next to me but to my grateful horror she swung her legs onto the bed and shuffled back forcing me to recline against her headboard as she rested her head on my shoulder.

“This is nice. Cwtch” I said again, rolling the word around my mouth, running my tongue over it, feeling it.  
“Cwtch” she murmured. “They’re the best gifts if you ask me”  
“A hug? Deels, you truly are an honest-to-goodness Saint!” I said, resting my head briefly on hers.  
I felt her head move, she was looking up at me, our faces suddenly rather too close for comfort.  
“There’s more to a cwtch than just a hug Patsy. Cwtch means… it means…” She faltered. “Well it doesn’t translate well; I suppose it means ‘safe place’.” She rested her head back down, nearer my neck this time. I could feel her gentle breath. It gave me goosebumps. I didn’t move. To be perfectly honest, I don’t think I could have even if I’d tried. I had become her safe place, and she had become mine.  
“Cariad” I whispered and kissed the top of her head.


	2. Prinder Geiriau

Delia and I were spending more and more time together and I thoroughly enjoyed it. We would chat about our day, or listen to records and read magazines the other girls had finished with. Then there was the occasional cwtch, though they required a good reason; I'm pretty sure the other girls didn't lie with their friends like that!

To be perfectly honest, I would have done anything that involved hours laid next to her on her bed. As I began to realise that my desire to be close to Delia went beyond friendship, I also noticed that around the other nurses she was just as tactile as she was with me. Maybe Delia was just a very tactile person? I felt envious whenever I saw her touch the arm of one of the girls as they shared a little joke, or when she offered a hug to one of them after a difficult shift.

She caught my watching her once from the other side of the ref, and offered me a stunning smile - but it faltered and slid off her face when I didn't return it. I was caught up in my thoughts, and regretted not smiling back but by this time she had turned away with her tray and sat down with the girl she was with. Normally we would both make an effort to sit together. It wasn't a spoken agreement, but I found myself feeling let down.

What a beastly situation. I couldn't hold Delia to these impossible standards, and I couldn't expect anything from her. It's not like we were courting. There, I said it to myself finally. It didn't help; I felt wretched. Finishing my meal I carried my tray to the wash-up area and left it on the counter with the others. I was grateful I could leave the ref without passing Delia's table; I needed some time to think.

It wasn't the first time I'd developed a crush on a female friend. It happened in school too. Back then I'd assumed it was a side effect of an all-girl boarding school. Her name was Amelia, she had been my best friend, we did everything together and everyone knew we were inseparable. Then the rumours started. I don't know if Amelia had felt the same was as I did, but once she got wind of the rumours things changed. She made an effort not to be alone with me - afraid of what the older girls in 5th Form might say.   
It had hurt, of course it had, but I'd gotten over it. I'd built a layer of protection around myself, I didn't want to get close to a girl lest I fell in love and got my heart broken. It was easier that way, but somehow Deels has snuck in, a chat here, a cwtch there, and suddenly she was on my mind 24/7.

I reached my room and sat wearily on my bed. I can't have been there long when I heard a knock at the door.  
"Come in!" I called, as cheerily as I could, taking a deep breath and forcing a smile onto my face. The door began to open and Delia popped her head through. Her face betrayed her slight worry.  
"Deels, did you finish your meal?" I asked.  
"I lost my appetite actually, Betty was telling me about her day on the emergency ward and it turned my stomach." She closed the door behind her and climbed on to my bed sitting cross legged at the end. "I wanted to hear about your day though, are you alright?"  
This was my chance to explain my earlier behaviour, and I knew she'd asked on purpose in such a way to give me the opportunity to lie or be honest. I knew that either way Delia wouldn't call me out on it. She was just wonderful that way.  
"Oh, a hideous day for me too actually; the things I've seen...!" I wiggled my fingers towards her, widening my eyes. I was trying to lighten the mood. It worked, Delia laughed and we both relaxed.  
"Do you have any plans for tonight?" She asked casually, "I could teach you a new card game?"  
"Would you teach me some more Welsh?" I countered, my cheeks reddening. I'd been asking her to teach me some more Welsh for a while. I enjoyed hearing her voice, watching her lips. And I enjoyed the attention; sometimes I'd get the pronunciation wrong on purpose just to wind her up.  
She gave me an even stare, trying to decide. "Ok" she said finally.  
I settled myself on the bed sitting cross-legged opposite her.  
"Say this: Patsy ydw i" she said slowly, my eyes fixed on her lips  
"Patsy ud-do-ee" I replied.  
She laughed, "Close enough"  
"What does it mean?"  
"My name is Patsy" she said.  
"Great! Patsy ydw i! What's next?" I said, my hand innocently resting briefly on her knee.  
"I want you to tell me why you looked upset earlier" she said.  
My face must have betrayed my panic because she reached out and took my hand.  
"You can be honest with me Pats" she said, and when I didn't make eye contact or move she squeezed my hand and gently said "cariad".  
I smiled at the term of endearment, it was the first Welsh word she'd told me, followed by cwtch. I thought back to that night we first cwtched, how she's called me her safe place, and how she had become mine. It wouldn't hurt to tell a little of the truth, would it?  
"I was just jealous" I tried to downplay it, "silly isn't it? I'm sorry Deels, of course you can have other friends besides me, I don't want you to think I want you all to myself." Well, the last part was an outright lie I realised as I said it.  
"Well I don't see anyone else here" she said, glancing around for effect, "You do have me all to yourself." She squeezed my hand. "Thank you for telling me"  
I dared to look into her eyes again and my heart raced. I wasn't sure what to say next.

We sat in silence for a few moments, and I glanced to her lips, thinking how soft they looked. I realised she was still holding my hand when she started rubbing circles over the back with her thumb.  
"Deels... I..." I stopped, she looked at me. When I didn't continue she tried to let go of my hand, but I held on. "Deels, you mean a lot to me." I finally got out. It wasn't what I wanted to say, but telling her I thought she was beautiful was probably a little much, instead I went with "You're a beautiful person and I'm so glad we're friends"  
"I'm glad we're friends too" she said, the smile on her face widening more now.  
"I'm sorry for earlier" I said, frowning, wanting to check things were totally smoothed over and trying not to think how much I could do with a cigarette right now!  
"Gorau prinder, prinder geiriau" she said, thoughtfully.  
"What does that mean?" I asked, not even attempting to repeat it.  
She looked at me, leaning closer as though she were going to whisper it, I lent closer too, her eyes were searching my face.  
"It means," she said softly "a shortage of words is the best shortage" her hands moved towards my face, and then, as though she changed her mind she simply tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear, "My dad used to say it all the time when I was little, especially when I was nattering on!"  
"I would have loved to have known little Delia" I murmured, my now free hand supporting me as I leaned closer to her.  
"Mam said I haven't changed - still getting myself into scrapes. Still can't sew or knit... Still..." She paused, searching my eyes "still giving my heart away to anyone who looks twice."

She was really close now and I realised I was holding my breath. I considered her words, giving her heart away. To me? So, that meant... Yes, I suppose it did. She had feelings for me, and I had feelings for her...  
I closed my eyes. It was all I could do really - I wasn't brave enough to initiate a kiss. I waited what seemed like an eternity until I felt her hand touch my cheek and I exhaled.  
"Deels..." I whispered, more of a statement than anything. Our foreheads were touching, our noses rubbing together slightly, one of my hands resting on her thigh. There was no going back now. My pulse was racing, I felt hot and scared and excited and...  
"I know what my dad meant now" she started, but I didn't let her finish, I captured her lips with mine and drank her in. I must have frozen for a moment, shocked at my own forthrightness because I remember it was like waking up. I pulled back slightly trying to think of one concrete thing. I could see her through my lashes, face flushed and breathing a little ragged. Delia. That's all I could think. We kissed, ...and she didn't mind... In fact, she might do it again... If I just lean forward...   
Delia was kissing me back, I could taste her, smell her, feel her; oh God, I could feel her. Her hands now around my neck and on my cheek pulling me closer. I felt her mouth open slightly as I kissed her bottom lip and she moaned gently.  
When we broke apart a few moments later we must have both looked flushed. Her hands through my lacquered hair had loosened some Bobby Pins, and my lipstick had smudged over her mouth. We caught each other's eye and laughed a little.  
I wiped her mouth and she fixed my hair, then I motioned for her to join me in our usual spots on the bed, leaning against the headboard. I lit a cigarette and exhaled deeply, "Well Deels, I can see a shortage of words need never be a problem again!"  
She rested her head on my shoulder and wrapped her arm around my waist, "I'm not sure this is quite what my dad had in mind!"


End file.
